Yesterday Supreme Quagnuk Headquarters commanded that I investigate the strange anomoly Earthlings call sleep. Apparantly one of the Earth's television broadcasts was inadvertantly sent through the time space wormhole.

The sleep by number concept truly was amazing for Supreme Headquarters to understand. My spousal unit and I decided to go to this strange building for decorative cars, Art Van. ( www.artvan.com). They advertised the sleep by number bed(http://www.selectcomfort.com). I was rather confused by why someone would take a number just to try and sleep. Was there such a shortage of beds on Earth that they could only make arrangements to sleep?

When we arrived to this decorated car place, I was quite taken aback by what I saw. Instead of seeing hundreds or thousands of people waiting in line to have a few minutes of sleep, I saw something even more primitive than I imagined. This Art Van place had several hundred (or so it seemed) of pre-historic human, homo salesmanelis. This prehistoric human uses no modern tools as it competes within its environment for what is commonly called, a rube ( http://dict.die.net/rube/). This prehistoric human seems to subsist upon converging upon other humans, who by definition should be smarter and more intelligent than homo salesmanelis. These smarter humans must feel pity for these unintelligent sub species because they purchase items of reclining, sitting and eating for their homes.

Needless to say, I am still very confused about the human concept sleep. I was given the number 4,500, 329,763. I think I will be waiting a long time for a chance to sleep.

Iron--wasn't the metal I thought

Today was a very interesting day. My home planet has been devoid of most natural resources for several generations, hence, why I have been sent here. Looking for primitive life forms and their failures to properly use their natural resources will become one of my primary search functions.

I went to what they call a supercenter. My spousal unit and I went down this path in this "supercenter" and found one of the primary metallic resources for the building of space ships. Iron. I thought it was very convenient that these humans prepacked metal for each other. My spousal unit and I cleared off every box of iron that we saw and have transported back to quagnak. With the amount of iron we have sent they should be able to produce life support systems for at least 3 ships that will then be able to come to Earth for when we finally determine its disposition.

Note to self: Remember to call supreme headquarters about the possibility of reverting to less technological machines in our space craft. Earthlings also have boxes of vacuums that we can use for our experiments in matter-anti matter advancements.

quagnak time: 43:32:21

As an alien visiting this planet, I have been wondering about blogs for several of your Earth years. I always thought they were small little lizard like creatures that changed color when you held them up to different items. You know, kind of like the nauga, the animal they use to make naugahyde furniture. The internet describes the nauga thus:

An animal called the "Nauga" whose hides are supposedly the natural source of all the Naugahyde manufactured. According to the story, which has become something of folk-lore in parts of Connecticut, the Naugas are nocturnal, hairless, aquatic mammals of many colors that live in the Naugatuck River, and can be made to come to the surface at night by shining a flashlight into the water. The Naugas are then captured and sorted by color to be made into the various colors of Naugahyde. Allegedly, when rolled together on a mechanical press, the seams between the Naugas disappear, resulting in a seamless, leather-like product. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Naugahyde)

Finally, my spousal unit pointed out to me that blogs were actually some type of primitive communication device that allows humans to share thoughts, ideas, and feelings that seem to indicate a level of intimacy. (Note to self: take time to better understand Human concept of feelings.)